Reasons I chose to apply for JET and move to Japan

These are the real reasons I applied for JET.  I strategically left most of these reasons out of my JET Interview…

There were many reasons I decided to apply for JET and move to Japan, I would expect there to be many reasons for anyone. However, as a single mom I had many things to consider. I have thought about possibly moving to Japan ever since C was born.

The reasons I choose to apply and the timing of why I did it this year are I wanted C to experience living abroad. He is half Japanese and even though his father isn’t involved much in his life, I want C to know the other half of his culture, language and heritage. Maybe because his father isn’t involved, I wanted it more for C because it’s something I can’t give him. I know he may not appreciate it at the moment, and even if he never learns Japanese fluently or he forgets it a year after we move back…the experiences we have here will make it all worth it. I think even if it just helps him to understand to be tolerant of another culture, or sympathetic to a child who may be experiencing culture shock in America it will be a positive thing.

Also, C is quite a smart kid. Even though I’m his mother, and therefore bias, all of his teachers in the USA (and now in Japan as well) have told me so as well. Before we moved to Japan, C could do almost all kindergarten worksheets easily and he was working on first grade work. He is reading well for his age and he just picks up things quickly. In America, I tried to enroll him in a local charter school, but he was put on the waiting list. We lived in a very diverse neighborhood, which was an amazing opportunity to learn about other cultures. But, at the risk of sounding elitist, at our local elementary many of the children are ESL learners. My fear was that C would get bored in Kindergarten because a lot of time would be devoted to helping the ESL learners and he would start to resent school. This may not have ended up being the case, but regardless, it was a concern of mine and along with the other reasons; moving to Japan was a good option for us.

Timing – I felt that it was the perfect age for C to live abroad. At 5, kids pick up language so quickly, and because the school schedule in Japan starts in April, C would have 7 months in a play-based daycare to learn Japanese before attending elementary school and having the pressures of ‘real’ school in a foreign language. International schools were not an option for us; based on cost, location and it’s not the experience I wanted for C anyway.

As for my personal reasons – I wanted the chance to prove to myself I could survive as a single parent without a support network around; basically my thought was if I can make it in Japan where I don’t speak Japanese, I can make it in any city in the USA. I wanted the opportunity to pay off some debts in America, and to save money for our return. I was also stuck in a job - thankful to have a job, don’t get me wrong - but a job with no way of being promoted, or getting a raise. So I applied for JET. Luckily I did, because in February, the company I was working for laid off a bunch of people, including me. So then I was unemployed for several months (hence the debt), lost my daycare benefits, and insurance and was working freelance to make ends meet until I was able to come to Japan. I know they say don’t apply for JET for the money – but honestly, besides my reasons for C, money was a big motivating factor for me. I make more in Japan as a (technically) part time teacher than I did in America as a full time salaried worker. My living expenses in Japan are half of what they were in America.

Daycare is insanely cheap in Japan!! In America per month I was paying $325 a month with a daycare subsidy, $740 at full price, and in Japan…it’s about $270 a month…and that’s at the high end. Elementary after-school care in America was going to cost about $175 a week and more in the summer; but in Japan I will be paying around $70 a month!

Plus the added benefits of the Japanese government’s monthly child credit; and my BOE subsidizing almost 1/2 of my rent…the only thing that costs more in Japan is electricity in the winter and summer (3 or 4 months out of the year).

I don’t have a car in Japan. I don’t really need one, so I’m saving the expenses of having a car. Although at times, it really would be nice to have a car – like in typhoon season. I may consider getting one next year, but I don’t know if I want to deal with the hassle of trying to get a Japanese drivers license.

Aside from money – it was a way for me to get out of Texas and save some money to move to Seattle. I knew I didn’t want to live in Texas my whole life, but I was never able to afford to move away. This is my chance to find the city where I really belong and go there when we move back.

Honestly – I was tired of never having enough money. Tired of worrying about money all the time, and tired of trying to come up with extra cash if my car broke or something else went wrong. I was also tired of the working hours; getting home at 6:30, eating dinner and going to bed – I wanted more time to spend with C, and in Japan we get that. We get up earlier, but we get home by 5:30 or 6:00 most days. It’s really nice to have that extra time to just spend as family time.

A Child's Stress

So I've underestimated how tiring it is to live in a foreign country with a child, work, ride a bike,  especially during winter. Therefore I have many posts I've wanted to write, but have not gotten around to doing so. I'm going to start posting a back-log of blog posts starting now. This post was originally written in October...

I'm excited to hear from C's hoikuen that he's already started saying a few words in Japanese. Mostly, asking if he can have more food, water, if he can use the toilet, and will you play with me. I'm so happy that he is picking up words quickly, and though he was shy at first about using Japanese, now he seems to understand that if he wants something he needs to ask for it in Japanese, so he's picked up those phrases quickly. I'm also surprised at how quickly he's adapted to eating the Japanese lunch provided by the daycare. He loves miso soup! and with his chopsticks (still learning to use them) he couldn't wait to show me how he can eat rice...

However, there are days when C says he hates it here and he wants to go back to the US. I think I underestimated just how difficult an adjustment it would be for him. Everyone says how adaptable kids are, and it's true, but there is no way of knowing exactly how each child will react to the stress of a completely new environment. C has been screaming like he did when he was 2, sometimes he just gets so frustrated and he can't find the words he wants so he just yells. Last night was just one of those nights, we stayed up a bit later (my first mistake) to have a pizza and movie and snuggle-up on the sofa...but as soon as the movie was over he melted down when I told him it was time to brush his teeth. It was completely out of the blue, but ended up with him screaming, him saying I hated him and him sobbing so hard he was gulping air. Poor kiddo....after he calmed down, I rocked him and asked him more about school, and that's when he told me he got a time out for wrestling with another kid. Normally that wouldn't phase him, but with everything else, it just made him completely upset and he didn't know how to express it. He never did brush his teeth (oops), but fell asleep shortly after I rocked him. I don't want to make anyone scared to bring their child overseas, but just wanted to prepare you for the difficulties you and your child may face.

That being said - today was a great day! C told me how excited he was for Undokai (sports day) this saturday, and how much he's been practicing. He said they've been making posters and signs and stuff, and showed me part of the flag dance. Today was a good day and he's excited to go to school tomorrow...just goes to show you, though kids are adaptable, they get stressed and don't know how to handle it. I suspect we'll have good and bad days for awhile longer.

Finally settled in!

We made it. We finally got everything worked out. It was quite the roller-coaster ride to get here, but despite all of the hurdles we made it. I can't express my gratitude enough for the Facebook groups who helped me through it all. I know we wouldn't be here in Japan without their guidance and support.

Getting moved out, packed up and then flying halfway around the world, setting up a new home and getting over jet-lag have all taken their toll. Not to mention I had to re-adjust to living in Japan and getting my son used to going to Japanese Hoikuen (pre-school/daycare). We still have our good days and our bad days. Somedays we can't wait to get out and explore, somedays we are so tired we just can't wait to get home and eat some cereal and go to bed. It takes a long time to completely settle in, longer so because I have a child to help through the culture shock. We have both been a bit ornery and crabby until now. But I think with the fall weather starting to come around, a nice cool breeze and some time to adjust, we're starting to feel completely settled.

The things I was so worried about: hoikuen, commute and the cat have all worked themselves out.

The hoikuen has turned out to be amazing, C's teacher even speaks a little English, and between her English and my Japanese we manage to communicate just fine. C has made a friend at school, who is also half Japanese. C says he speaks English, but I have yet to hear him or his mother speaking English, I believe they speak Portuguese...but I'm glad C has a friend.

The commute isn't so bad. The school I visit on mondays (40 min bus ride, 20 min walk), turns out that I don't go to that school very often, especially in September, as there are 3 holidays on mondays in Sept. and therefore, no school. Even so, the commute isn't so bad. I drop C off at daycare at 7:30 (right when they open) and I pick him up at 5:45, which is honestly pretty on par with the hours he was at daycare in the US. The other two schools are no problem at all, but I am getting my exercise! I never did buy a car, so I've been biking at least 1 hour each day, two days a week, it's 2 hours - bonus, I've dropped 4 sizes in two months! none of my clothes fit anymore, time to go shopping!

The cat - I've emailed back and forth with the family that is keeping her and she's settled in just fine. The other cat and her are friends now, and we'll be back in 2.5 months to get her. I do miss her, but honestly I don't know how I would have done it if we would have brought her with us at the start. There was plenty to deal with, I'm glad we were able to leave her for a few months and then pick her up after Christmas.

Everything is working out...  ;)

We've also started exploring our town a bit more. Every weekend we take a little bike ride to find a new store and area to explore. Usually I have a destination in mind, but sometimes we just ride and see where it gets us. I definitely want to stay longer than a year, things just take more time when you are a family JET. One year just won't be enough for us to explore and do everything we want to do. We bought a tent and a sleeping bag and we've already been camping once, with many more camping trips to plan in the future!

Don't Give Up!!!

Sorry for the length of time between posts - it's been quite the whirlwind of a month. Has it really only been a month, it feels like three. Finally heard from my BOE, we will be going to Kurashiki City in Okayama Prefecture. I am so excited. However, we have been running hurtles trying to sort out details. There are several JET couples in Okayama, however I am the first JET with a child the prefecture has welcomed, so it's been a learning experience for everyone. The following is only meant to communicate the difficulties I faced and the amount of stress one can possibly expect (of course ESID) to face. Please understand that the BOE, the JET program of Okayama, and the community have bent over backwards to help me solve all of these difficulties. The circumstances were difficult, but all of us worked together to solve them, and for that I am most truly thankful to everyone!

Finding a long term boarding facility for the cat:
I have called about 30 different vets and boarding facilities and either they won't board a cat for that long or I got quotes from $500-1000 per month. I can't afford that - and they all want the entire 5 months payments upfront. I literally sat in my car during lunch for 3 days sobbing on the phone with places asking if they knew anyone, anyone at all who would consider taking a cat in for 5 months. None of my family or friends are able to take her, many wished they could, but cannot for various reasons. I have 5 weeks to find somewhere, otherwise we may not be able to go to Japan.

Hoikuen:
I first got an email from the prefecture saying that they are looking forward to welcoming me and my son to Okayama prefecture, however daycare in Japan is in high demand and they are unable to find a spot for my son. period. They are all full. I translate this as: We cannot go to Japan.
So I took to Facebook and posted a plea to have anyone help me that was already in Okayama. Can I just say that the ex-pat community in Okayama is awesome! I had no less than 4 people helping me find daycare, answering questions, calling the childcare division at city hall and calming me down as I'm panicking because I'm thinking we aren't able to go after all that hard work. A good friend found my son a spot in a daycare and the BOE got him enrolled! One hurtle down. We're going to Japan in 4 weeks!

Travel:
I then find out that the daycare is 30 minutes away by bike. Unfortunately my schools are 15 minutes from the apartment in the complete opposite direction. Making my commute time an hour and 15 minutes by bike to my two main schools. I'm either going to be really fit and strong or need to buy a car (which I was hoping to avoid). Plus one of my visiting schools is a 40 minute bus ride plus a 20 minute uphill walk. So every Monday I would have to drop C off at daycare at 6 am. The daycare doesn't open until 6:30. I translate this as: We cannot go to Japan.
My BOE understood this dilemma and has adjusted my start time at that school so I can drop C off at a more reasonable hour. Perhaps not ideal, but I can work with it. We're going to Japan!

Cat:
I tried to ask in the politest way if it would be possible to bring the cat. I knew from talking with my predecessor that a previous tenant had a dog, so I thought it was reasonable to assume pets were okay. I got an email back saying pets are not allowed. I translate this as: We cannot go to Japan.
So I google Okayama pet apartments, and using google translate manage to find 2 apartments that allow pets, one very near where the current apartment is, and one nearer to the daycare. So I email the links to the BOE to see if I am allowed to move apartments. I then get a email back saying that pets are actually okay in the current apartment, so no need to move. (with a nice apology). We are going to Japan! I just need to find somewhere for the cat to stay for 5 months until we can return at christmas to get her.

Lucky Break!
I didn't just find one place for the cat, I found 2! A very nice family has offered to keep her for 5 months, and I found a pet sitter that was willing to board her for a very reasonable fee. I haven't completely decided who she will stay with, but we have had a home visit with both, and Elouise gets along very well with the other animals at both homes.  Two more weeks and we're going to Japan!

So, yes, it has been very stressful. I think I lost about 5 lbs in a week because I couldn't eat or sleep. However, I didn't give up - and it has paid off! I even went on an interview for a new job here in Dallas thinking that we weren't going. But here we are! My utmost gratitude to the people who have helped me overcome all of these hurtles and answered question and helped to calm me down. I don't know that I could have done all of it without their help. I can't wait to meet these people and thank them in person.

Stressing

So normally I'm a very easygoing kind of person. Right now, I'm completely off the wall stressed out. I haven't heard from my BOE (Board of Education) yet, so I don't know if my cat can go with us to Japan, and I don't know where we'll be living in a month and a half. Seriously stressing out about all the unknowns right now. I have to submit the 40 days advance notification to the Japanese Quarantine Services this week and I haven't been contacted by my BOE yet. I'm pushing ahead as if I'll be able to bring the cat (Elouise) because I don't know what else to do. I know many housing options don't allow pets, but I'm crossing my fingers I will be one of the lucky ones.

Other considerations for bringing a pet are: boarding in Houston during the pre-departure orientation, boarding at Narita Airport for the 4 days of Tokyo Orientation, and paying the pet deposit fees for all the flights as well as for the apartment. I can't bear to think of what I might have to do if I cannot bring her with us. My son would be crushed. She has been nicknamed 'Little Sister' because they are so close and act like siblings. I have put out a FB message last week to my friends asking if anyone could care for her, but so far no luck. I've even looked into long term boarding options as a last resort, but I cannot afford the $425/month price.

I'm at a loss as to what to do until I hear from my BOE...hoping I'll hear from them by the end of the week. sigh....

Placement

Finally after weeks of stressing and waiting, we have our placement. Okayama-ken! Okayama was my first choice. It's a larger city than Takamatsu (where I lived in 2006), but still very close so I can visit my friends in Takamatsu.

Okayama is on the southern end of Honshu, Japan's main island. It is approx. halfway between Hiroshima and Kobe, and relatively close to Tottori. I have always wanted to take C to Tottori to see the sand dunes and the ocean. I don't know exactly where in Okayama we will be living yet, but I am encouraged to find many JET families go to Okayama. I am even more excited now that I know there will be other families and we are able to research all the fun things to do and see in Okayama.

I have already started packing, getting the house ready for rent, and switching over my address to my parents house.  I also purchased my son's and mothers plane tickets. They are flying over a week after I will get to Okayama, which gives me a chance to get used to the neighborhood, apply for my gaijin card, open a bank account, get a cell phone, and find a grocery store. Plus unpack and start making it feel like home. And while I've never been apart from my son for more than one night, I think this week apart is the best timing, though I will miss him terribly. Plus my mom will stay with us for 2 weeks so that C can adapt to the time zone change and get settled into school a bit before she leaves.

We are still waiting to hear from our BOE (Board of Education) exactly where in Okayama-ken we will be living, but knowing the city is a huge relief. Now I can shift my attention to finishing up all the details on my birthday party/going away party. It is an Alice in Wonderland Tea Party. My un-30th birthday if you will (I am turning 31) ;). Very exciting! Should be a blast, I can't wait to post photos. Party planning is one of my favorite things to do. Busy, busy....

Accepted!!!

Accepted!!! Normally the graphic design rule is never use more than one exclamation point after a word or sentence...it's over used and not gramaticaly correct, however I can't contain my excitement. We're in.

We are moving to Japan. I got my acceptance email April 3rd, and it's been a flurry of activity and list making since then. Finally - a plan in place. I realize it's now May 9th, but with all the paperwork due, the scheduling of appointments and the new job to learn, it's just been all I can do to get these things done. I have met with one property management company and have another scheduled to tour the house this week. I've sold most of baby stuff from storage, packed up the Christmas decorations and things we won't need from the garage anytime soon, compiled a pile of garage sale items and stuff to sell on craigslist, as well as looked into storage options for my stuff.

Whew...we've been going places every weekend...Dallas Zoo, Ft Worth Japanese Garden for a festival, friends and families houses...and this weekend we are just planning on staying home. I'm looking forward to just having the weekend at home. I do have to clean and mow and do yardwork so that the property management company can come look at the house, but I need to do those things anyway. I've also been sewing like mad. I won't be bringing my sewing machine to Japan, so I'm trying to make all of C's school bags beforehand (note: not talking Randoseru here, but all the cloth bags the kids need). I've made him a lunch kit already, but the school bags are proving problematic. There doesn't seem to be a standard size, each school designates their own sizes and each for a very specific purpose...しょうがない.

This week I've been checking my email fanatically because placement results should be sent out soon. Very unproductive. Oh and just as an update, the job I was so excited about is mind-numbingly boring. I keep telling myself I'm almost 1/2 way through it..just hang in there. So much to do to be sitting at a desk all day where nobody talks to me. I think that's the part that gets to me the most...the lack of social interaction. Seriously, most of these people don't even leave their desks for lunch. 12:00 hits and I am out of there, I need some vitamin D, get away from that desk for awhile, and just to move around. I was not meant to work a desk job. All the more reason to put my goals into action...wait...put my plan into action so I can reach my goals. There that makes more sense.

The only thing I haven't found time for yet is a Saturday home-school Japanese Class for C. I really need to work on getting that into our schedule. So many things to do... ;) but so worth it!