EISD…I know, I hated that phrase so much when I was getting ready to move to Japan. But it really is true. Nobody can give you a magical answer, as much as we wish they could. So here is my experience with elementary school enrollment.
C will start first grade this April in Japan. So, a few months after we moved in, we had to go to the city hall to fill out a registration form. Someone in this department spoke some English, so all in all, very easy to do on my own. I went on a Tuesday evening since the city hall stays open till 7 on Tuesdays in my city.
You will get a postcard in the mail telling you which local school your child will attend. It will be all in Japanese, except my child’s name was printed in Romanji, so after a little help translating I understood where he would go to school. I was told to take the card to the elementary school, so I took it to the elementary school, but I’m not really sure I was supposed to because nothing happened after that. They just nodded and said okay, said hi to C and we were on our way – so I’m still not sure if I was supposed to take it to the school or not…
1st meeting - You will get another postcard notifying you of the introductory meeting/health check. Most all elementary school meetings are held during working hours…I know, it sucks…but しょうがない (it can’t be helped)…because this is Japan where (generally) mothers don’t work. It’s very difficult to be a full-time working mother in Japan. Anyway…back on topic…the intro meeting lasts about 3 hours. The kids go off with the elementary school kids and teachers for a health-check (I warned C that this was going to happen so he wouldn’t get scared) but it’s not a big deal if your child wants you to go with, several of the Japanese kids wouldn’t go without their mothers…and unless you speak Japnese, you won’t understand most of the parent lecture anyways. I didn’t, I sat and listened, looked at the papers the other parents were looking at and didn’t understand most of what was going on. ;) fun times. There was a pause at the end of the presentation and many of the mothers ran (literally ran!) to a table set up on the side of the room and the nice lady behind the table was handing out packets of forms to fill out. I sat confused for a moment before I realized they were probably signing up for after-school care…then I semi-panicked and ran over to the table too. She gave me a packet and after it was clear I had no idea what was going on, she called a teacher over who spoke English and I was able to sign up for the after-school care program. The thing about it is, it’s done based on need, similar to hoikuen. So for me, I was at the top of the list because there is nobody else to care for my son…however, depending on your situation, you may or may not get a spot in the after-school care program. Unfortunately there is a huge deficit of child-care in Japan right now.
Meeting 2 – this was for the after-school care program (thank goodness it was on a Saturday!). I went with C and with the help of my limited Japanese, the program teachers limited English and translations on smart phones, we managed pretty well. I got a big packet of papers - I don’t know what it is exactly…
Meeting 3 – My JTE tells me that the after-school program teacher has called her and asked that we attend another meeting together with all the parents. Yet another information session, I’m not sure why it couldn’t have been all rolled into one…but it’s not… So, this one is on a Saturday as well, the after-school program is good about scheduling meetings outside of working hours at least. However it happens to be Graduation day at my base school...anyway we work out another day to meet. I felt bad that my JTE had to give up part of her Saturday to help me, but I didn’t have much of a choice. Basically this meeting was covering the rules, costs and supplies C would need for the after-school care. This meeting took 3 hours and then there was coffee/tea and snack afterwards. It was a nice gesture of hospitality, so please don’t get me wrong when I say….why did it have to take 3 hours?? I don’t know! It could have easily been done in an hour in my opinion…
Meeting 4 – This is another elementary school meeting where you order school supplies, uniforms, etc…You will get an order form in the mail. This meeting is during the week and lasts 3-4 hours. Depending on your school you may or may not have uniforms (most elementary schools in Japan do not), C’s does. So – there are 2 copies of each order form, I thought one was for my use, one to turn in, so I translated and wrote all over one copy, but…apparently not, the school needs both. oops!. You need to fill out both copies and then the school will make another copy. ?? I don’t know why so many copies are needed. C’s elementary school actually had a translator from the local BOE come out to help me for this meeting which was amazingly thoughtful of them. The kids went off and explored the school, sat in a classroom for a bit while the parents were told about the school supplies (the ones not listed on the order forms) that each child would need. Let me tell you – they are extensive!!! I’ve got a running excel documents of school expenses that I will upload once I have completed school supply shopping. There will also be vendors there from the uniform companies with samples so your kid can try on the Jackets, hats, shorts, gym uniform, etc…and you can order the right size Aside from the uniform itself, pretty much everything else can be found at a local store…I’ve notated this on that excel file I mentioned. The biggest thing I need to mention here is ORDER THE PRE-PRINTED NAME STICKERS!!! Everything – down to every little counting chip and dice in the math set (which has probably 200 pcs) – has to have your child’s name on it. EVERYTHING!! Each crayon, the box lid and base, Every pencil, eraser…etc…it’s pretty intense. You do not want to have to write your child’s name that many times, on teeny tiny little stickers. There will be certain things you must order from the school – for example, the uniform and that math set I mentioned above. But check Amazon or your local store for the other stuff, I’ve found it’s usually cheaper. A lot of the small things can be purchased at the ¥100 store. I did not have to pay for the ordered school supplies at this point in time. This was also the meeting where I met another parent who speaks English fluently and she offered to help me out if I had any questions! Hurray! She even asked the principle if her child and mine could be in the same class. Double hurray!!!
Meeting 5 – ** Update - yes, this took about 10 minutes and it was just pay and pickup the items we had ordered.
This meeting is next week – so I will update this post after I have attended it, but I have been told it is a ‘shopping day’ from 3-4 pm. From what I understand this is the day that we pay and pick up all the things we ordered from meeting 4. This is also during the week – but luckily, it happens to be a test day at my school, so I have been told that if I come in an hour early it won’t be a problem to leave an hour early. My nenkyuu is in short supply, and what I do have left is needed for C’s entrance ceremony and graduation from daycare ceremony.
****NOTE: I have been told by a Japanese mother that I need a white suit for the elementary entrance ceremony (only 1st grade mom’s need a white suit) – I found one at the department store but it was ¥10,200 yen!! (three pieces; cropped jacket, white skirt, black dress). Surprisingly it’s very cute, but expensive for a suit I will have little occasion to wear again. I expected the suit, because it’s a formal occasion, but I did not know it had to be white…so consider yourself forewarned!! You will see a whole section of white suits in the department stores starting in February or so. They will probably not be for sale after mid-march, so it is best to get one while you can…also they come in a limited number of sizes on the rack, so you may have to shop around a bit depending on your body type.
The children (if they have uniforms) wear their uniforms for the entrance ceremony – however, if your school does not have uniforms, the child is expected to wear a suit, or formal dress - so I’ve been told. Please be sure to ask someone what the appropriate dress code is, because it is likely that nobody will think to mention it since it is common cultural knowledge to the Japanese. Another unexpected expense…
I was very upset to see that most parents were just wearing their black or grey suits....I suggest using the 'gaijin card' in situation such as these because I wasn't happy when I saw that not everyone was in a white suit (like I was told they would be)...however I suppose the silver lining is that I have used the suit more than once for entrance ceremony, photos at school, open school day, and some other days where the dress/jacket was very appropriate...so not a complete waste of money.
**I found it easier to print my own name stickers for all the things C needs at school. First of all, C's name was misspelled on the ones we had ordered, but also, there weren't enough for all the things we had to label. So I printed my own and was able to make lots more stickers. I even added Pokemon because I could and C loves Pokemon! I will try to share the file if I can figure out a way.
A Single Parent's Journey moving to Japan with the JET Program
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Making it a home....
On a lighter note….I wanted to take a moment and tell you all how I’ve made the transition as easy as possible for myself and C and made our little apartment in Japan into a home. It takes time, but if you’re crafty this post will be for you! I love Pinterest, so feel free to follow me – I have several boards just for Japan.
First, before we even arrived in Japan, I shipped over a poster and some removable wall stickers for my son’s room of his favorite characters. I also brought a twin sheet set, which fits his Japanese futon, but in retrospect, too much trouble to be worth it…I don’t recommend it.
After we got to Japan, C and I went to Nitori (like a Japanese Ikea) and we bought new bedding; futon duvet, and duvet cover. I also purchased some shelves and things to give us much needed storage space in the kitchen. I made some cheap sofa pillows from felt shapes and basic pillow covers from Nitori as well. Felt is a great material – cheap, colorful and easy to work with. You can either just glue it onto the pillow cover with regular white glue or you can sew it on. I did both because I have a child and a cat running around and jumping on the sofa. You can get multi-packs or big rolls of felt at Daiso (￥100 store). Daiso is great for cheap ways to decorate your home. They have a lot of seasonal things as well.
As for artwork, I just printed out a bunch of images that I found on Pinterest and taped them to the wall. Nothing fancy, but they are colorful and fun. We ended up buying a printer/scanner, but you could easily take the images on a thumbdrive to the combini to print them out. We have added some of our own photos and artwork (mostly C’s drawings of pokemon) to the collage.
The only hard thing to find was good Christmas decorations. The best selection we found was at Nitori, though I’ve heard that IKEA and Costco are good as well – they just are not very close to us so we haven’t ever been there. We bought a 5ft tree at Nitori, but lights and ornaments (cheap plastic ones) were SO expensive!!! We hit the after Christmas sales in America while we were home for the holidays and shipped some lights back to use next Christmas. We also hosted a craft party where we made our own ornaments from felt, saltwater dough, origami, and other things. This year I plan on doing the same, it was really fun and everyone went home with a few ornaments made by others as well as their own. We also made cut paper snowflakes to hang in the windows and from the ceiling. Our elf on a shelf also followed us to Japan – what a clever elf! His name is Cramden, and C was so excited to see him on the first day of December. He had to call his grandma and grandpa in America that morning to tell them all about it. Luckily, it worked out with the time difference (and a little forewarning from myself) so they were able to answer the skype call at 5 pm! Little things make all the difference, especially keeping special traditions the same in both countries.
So my favorite places to find things are definitely Nitori and the ￥100 store, Pinterest is my favorite source of inspiration, there are so many things to try! Now just to find the time….
First, before we even arrived in Japan, I shipped over a poster and some removable wall stickers for my son’s room of his favorite characters. I also brought a twin sheet set, which fits his Japanese futon, but in retrospect, too much trouble to be worth it…I don’t recommend it.
After we got to Japan, C and I went to Nitori (like a Japanese Ikea) and we bought new bedding; futon duvet, and duvet cover. I also purchased some shelves and things to give us much needed storage space in the kitchen. I made some cheap sofa pillows from felt shapes and basic pillow covers from Nitori as well. Felt is a great material – cheap, colorful and easy to work with. You can either just glue it onto the pillow cover with regular white glue or you can sew it on. I did both because I have a child and a cat running around and jumping on the sofa. You can get multi-packs or big rolls of felt at Daiso (￥100 store). Daiso is great for cheap ways to decorate your home. They have a lot of seasonal things as well.
As for artwork, I just printed out a bunch of images that I found on Pinterest and taped them to the wall. Nothing fancy, but they are colorful and fun. We ended up buying a printer/scanner, but you could easily take the images on a thumbdrive to the combini to print them out. We have added some of our own photos and artwork (mostly C’s drawings of pokemon) to the collage.
The only hard thing to find was good Christmas decorations. The best selection we found was at Nitori, though I’ve heard that IKEA and Costco are good as well – they just are not very close to us so we haven’t ever been there. We bought a 5ft tree at Nitori, but lights and ornaments (cheap plastic ones) were SO expensive!!! We hit the after Christmas sales in America while we were home for the holidays and shipped some lights back to use next Christmas. We also hosted a craft party where we made our own ornaments from felt, saltwater dough, origami, and other things. This year I plan on doing the same, it was really fun and everyone went home with a few ornaments made by others as well as their own. We also made cut paper snowflakes to hang in the windows and from the ceiling. Our elf on a shelf also followed us to Japan – what a clever elf! His name is Cramden, and C was so excited to see him on the first day of December. He had to call his grandma and grandpa in America that morning to tell them all about it. Luckily, it worked out with the time difference (and a little forewarning from myself) so they were able to answer the skype call at 5 pm! Little things make all the difference, especially keeping special traditions the same in both countries.
So my favorite places to find things are definitely Nitori and the ￥100 store, Pinterest is my favorite source of inspiration, there are so many things to try! Now just to find the time….
On an Even Keel
From January 2014 -
Well - it's been six months since we moved to Japan and we've finally completely settled in and it's feeling like home. It took about four months for us to get to the point where we could start getting out and exploring Okayama. Everyday wasn't exhausting and we were able to enjoy exploring our city. We have found so many cool places now, and every weekend we find somewhere new.
In December we got C signed up for piano lessons and I've just figured out how to rent a piano for him to practice. You can go online to the Yamaha website and rent any sort of instrument. It has to be done online, and through the wonders of Google Translate you can fill out the rental agreement form and have them deliver an instrument right to your house. I'll let you know if I experience any hiccups in the process, but so far, other than the time spent translating the form, it's been a pretty easy process.
C just had his 6th birthday which was fun, but pretty low-key. It was on a weekday, so we both had school. I gave him a scooter - but what he really wanted was a bicycle. Kids bikes are just so expensive in Japan! They are 1.5 to 2 times the price of an adults bike, it just doesn't make sense! I made him a strawberry cake - his request - and it was really delicious! It was nice to find a recipe that used real ingredients instead of strawberry Jello or anything like that. I put some pokemon figures on top of the cake and he loved it.
Even though Okayama is the sunniest prefecture in Japan, the winter is getting me down a bit. The cold is getting to me. There just isn't any escaping it. It's cold outside, biking to school and work...and it's cold inside the apartment until I have the heater on for a bit...and even then, it just takes the chill away, it's never truly central-air kind of warm. I also can't believe how much I've been eating! Just keeping warm my body has been burning through calories so quickly! There are days when I just want to crawl under the kotatsu and stay there. Laundry takes a day or 2 to dry which makes me have to plan out when to do laundry even more. I was only semi-joking with my mom the other day when I said that my first thought on waking up on Saturday morning is 'I have to get the laundry out to dry!' ... otherwise it isn't dry by Monday.
Pre-Christmas was a bit rough for everyone. It's probably always tough for foreigners living in a country that doesn't really celebrate Christmas, I was homesick for all the activities of Christmas preparations, and really - just the 'magic' of the season was missing. However we were lucky enough to be able to go home for Christmas for a long visit, and it was great. Completely refreshed me, and I felt so relieved and relaxed upon coming back to Japan. When we returned, it also felt like we were really coming home for the first time, which was a nice feeling as well.
Well - it's been six months since we moved to Japan and we've finally completely settled in and it's feeling like home. It took about four months for us to get to the point where we could start getting out and exploring Okayama. Everyday wasn't exhausting and we were able to enjoy exploring our city. We have found so many cool places now, and every weekend we find somewhere new.
In December we got C signed up for piano lessons and I've just figured out how to rent a piano for him to practice. You can go online to the Yamaha website and rent any sort of instrument. It has to be done online, and through the wonders of Google Translate you can fill out the rental agreement form and have them deliver an instrument right to your house. I'll let you know if I experience any hiccups in the process, but so far, other than the time spent translating the form, it's been a pretty easy process.
C just had his 6th birthday which was fun, but pretty low-key. It was on a weekday, so we both had school. I gave him a scooter - but what he really wanted was a bicycle. Kids bikes are just so expensive in Japan! They are 1.5 to 2 times the price of an adults bike, it just doesn't make sense! I made him a strawberry cake - his request - and it was really delicious! It was nice to find a recipe that used real ingredients instead of strawberry Jello or anything like that. I put some pokemon figures on top of the cake and he loved it.
Even though Okayama is the sunniest prefecture in Japan, the winter is getting me down a bit. The cold is getting to me. There just isn't any escaping it. It's cold outside, biking to school and work...and it's cold inside the apartment until I have the heater on for a bit...and even then, it just takes the chill away, it's never truly central-air kind of warm. I also can't believe how much I've been eating! Just keeping warm my body has been burning through calories so quickly! There are days when I just want to crawl under the kotatsu and stay there. Laundry takes a day or 2 to dry which makes me have to plan out when to do laundry even more. I was only semi-joking with my mom the other day when I said that my first thought on waking up on Saturday morning is 'I have to get the laundry out to dry!' ... otherwise it isn't dry by Monday.
Pre-Christmas was a bit rough for everyone. It's probably always tough for foreigners living in a country that doesn't really celebrate Christmas, I was homesick for all the activities of Christmas preparations, and really - just the 'magic' of the season was missing. However we were lucky enough to be able to go home for Christmas for a long visit, and it was great. Completely refreshed me, and I felt so relieved and relaxed upon coming back to Japan. When we returned, it also felt like we were really coming home for the first time, which was a nice feeling as well.
Reasons I chose to apply for JET and move to Japan
These are the real reasons I applied for JET. I strategically left most of these reasons out of my JET Interview…
There were many reasons I decided to apply for JET and move to Japan, I would expect there to be many reasons for anyone. However, as a single mom I had many things to consider. I have thought about possibly moving to Japan ever since C was born.
The reasons I choose to apply and the timing of why I did it this year are I wanted C to experience living abroad. He is half Japanese and even though his father isn’t involved much in his life, I want C to know the other half of his culture, language and heritage. Maybe because his father isn’t involved, I wanted it more for C because it’s something I can’t give him. I know he may not appreciate it at the moment, and even if he never learns Japanese fluently or he forgets it a year after we move back…the experiences we have here will make it all worth it. I think even if it just helps him to understand to be tolerant of another culture, or sympathetic to a child who may be experiencing culture shock in America it will be a positive thing.
Also, C is quite a smart kid. Even though I’m his mother, and therefore bias, all of his teachers in the USA (and now in Japan as well) have told me so as well. Before we moved to Japan, C could do almost all kindergarten worksheets easily and he was working on first grade work. He is reading well for his age and he just picks up things quickly. In America, I tried to enroll him in a local charter school, but he was put on the waiting list. We lived in a very diverse neighborhood, which was an amazing opportunity to learn about other cultures. But, at the risk of sounding elitist, at our local elementary many of the children are ESL learners. My fear was that C would get bored in Kindergarten because a lot of time would be devoted to helping the ESL learners and he would start to resent school. This may not have ended up being the case, but regardless, it was a concern of mine and along with the other reasons; moving to Japan was a good option for us.
Timing – I felt that it was the perfect age for C to live abroad. At 5, kids pick up language so quickly, and because the school schedule in Japan starts in April, C would have 7 months in a play-based daycare to learn Japanese before attending elementary school and having the pressures of ‘real’ school in a foreign language. International schools were not an option for us; based on cost, location and it’s not the experience I wanted for C anyway.
As for my personal reasons – I wanted the chance to prove to myself I could survive as a single parent without a support network around; basically my thought was if I can make it in Japan where I don’t speak Japanese, I can make it in any city in the USA. I wanted the opportunity to pay off some debts in America, and to save money for our return. I was also stuck in a job - thankful to have a job, don’t get me wrong - but a job with no way of being promoted, or getting a raise. So I applied for JET. Luckily I did, because in February, the company I was working for laid off a bunch of people, including me. So then I was unemployed for several months (hence the debt), lost my daycare benefits, and insurance and was working freelance to make ends meet until I was able to come to Japan. I know they say don’t apply for JET for the money – but honestly, besides my reasons for C, money was a big motivating factor for me. I make more in Japan as a (technically) part time teacher than I did in America as a full time salaried worker. My living expenses in Japan are half of what they were in America.
Daycare is insanely cheap in Japan!! In America per month I was paying $325 a month with a daycare subsidy, $740 at full price, and in Japan…it’s about $270 a month…and that’s at the high end. Elementary after-school care in America was going to cost about $175 a week and more in the summer; but in Japan I will be paying around $70 a month!
Plus the added benefits of the Japanese government’s monthly child credit; and my BOE subsidizing almost 1/2 of my rent…the only thing that costs more in Japan is electricity in the winter and summer (3 or 4 months out of the year).
I don’t have a car in Japan. I don’t really need one, so I’m saving the expenses of having a car. Although at times, it really would be nice to have a car – like in typhoon season. I may consider getting one next year, but I don’t know if I want to deal with the hassle of trying to get a Japanese drivers license.
Aside from money – it was a way for me to get out of Texas and save some money to move to Seattle. I knew I didn’t want to live in Texas my whole life, but I was never able to afford to move away. This is my chance to find the city where I really belong and go there when we move back.
Honestly – I was tired of never having enough money. Tired of worrying about money all the time, and tired of trying to come up with extra cash if my car broke or something else went wrong. I was also tired of the working hours; getting home at 6:30, eating dinner and going to bed – I wanted more time to spend with C, and in Japan we get that. We get up earlier, but we get home by 5:30 or 6:00 most days. It’s really nice to have that extra time to just spend as family time.
There were many reasons I decided to apply for JET and move to Japan, I would expect there to be many reasons for anyone. However, as a single mom I had many things to consider. I have thought about possibly moving to Japan ever since C was born.
The reasons I choose to apply and the timing of why I did it this year are I wanted C to experience living abroad. He is half Japanese and even though his father isn’t involved much in his life, I want C to know the other half of his culture, language and heritage. Maybe because his father isn’t involved, I wanted it more for C because it’s something I can’t give him. I know he may not appreciate it at the moment, and even if he never learns Japanese fluently or he forgets it a year after we move back…the experiences we have here will make it all worth it. I think even if it just helps him to understand to be tolerant of another culture, or sympathetic to a child who may be experiencing culture shock in America it will be a positive thing.
Also, C is quite a smart kid. Even though I’m his mother, and therefore bias, all of his teachers in the USA (and now in Japan as well) have told me so as well. Before we moved to Japan, C could do almost all kindergarten worksheets easily and he was working on first grade work. He is reading well for his age and he just picks up things quickly. In America, I tried to enroll him in a local charter school, but he was put on the waiting list. We lived in a very diverse neighborhood, which was an amazing opportunity to learn about other cultures. But, at the risk of sounding elitist, at our local elementary many of the children are ESL learners. My fear was that C would get bored in Kindergarten because a lot of time would be devoted to helping the ESL learners and he would start to resent school. This may not have ended up being the case, but regardless, it was a concern of mine and along with the other reasons; moving to Japan was a good option for us.
Timing – I felt that it was the perfect age for C to live abroad. At 5, kids pick up language so quickly, and because the school schedule in Japan starts in April, C would have 7 months in a play-based daycare to learn Japanese before attending elementary school and having the pressures of ‘real’ school in a foreign language. International schools were not an option for us; based on cost, location and it’s not the experience I wanted for C anyway.
As for my personal reasons – I wanted the chance to prove to myself I could survive as a single parent without a support network around; basically my thought was if I can make it in Japan where I don’t speak Japanese, I can make it in any city in the USA. I wanted the opportunity to pay off some debts in America, and to save money for our return. I was also stuck in a job - thankful to have a job, don’t get me wrong - but a job with no way of being promoted, or getting a raise. So I applied for JET. Luckily I did, because in February, the company I was working for laid off a bunch of people, including me. So then I was unemployed for several months (hence the debt), lost my daycare benefits, and insurance and was working freelance to make ends meet until I was able to come to Japan. I know they say don’t apply for JET for the money – but honestly, besides my reasons for C, money was a big motivating factor for me. I make more in Japan as a (technically) part time teacher than I did in America as a full time salaried worker. My living expenses in Japan are half of what they were in America.
Daycare is insanely cheap in Japan!! In America per month I was paying $325 a month with a daycare subsidy, $740 at full price, and in Japan…it’s about $270 a month…and that’s at the high end. Elementary after-school care in America was going to cost about $175 a week and more in the summer; but in Japan I will be paying around $70 a month!
Plus the added benefits of the Japanese government’s monthly child credit; and my BOE subsidizing almost 1/2 of my rent…the only thing that costs more in Japan is electricity in the winter and summer (3 or 4 months out of the year).
I don’t have a car in Japan. I don’t really need one, so I’m saving the expenses of having a car. Although at times, it really would be nice to have a car – like in typhoon season. I may consider getting one next year, but I don’t know if I want to deal with the hassle of trying to get a Japanese drivers license.
Aside from money – it was a way for me to get out of Texas and save some money to move to Seattle. I knew I didn’t want to live in Texas my whole life, but I was never able to afford to move away. This is my chance to find the city where I really belong and go there when we move back.
Honestly – I was tired of never having enough money. Tired of worrying about money all the time, and tired of trying to come up with extra cash if my car broke or something else went wrong. I was also tired of the working hours; getting home at 6:30, eating dinner and going to bed – I wanted more time to spend with C, and in Japan we get that. We get up earlier, but we get home by 5:30 or 6:00 most days. It’s really nice to have that extra time to just spend as family time.
Saturday, January 25, 2014
A Child's Stress
So I've underestimated how tiring it is to live in a foreign country
with a child, work, ride a bike, especially during winter. Therefore I
have many posts I've wanted to write, but have not gotten around to
doing so. I'm going to start posting a back-log of blog posts starting
now. This post was originally written in October...
I'm excited to hear from C's hoikuen that he's already started saying a few words in Japanese. Mostly, asking if he can have more food, water, if he can use the toilet, and will you play with me. I'm so happy that he is picking up words quickly, and though he was shy at first about using Japanese, now he seems to understand that if he wants something he needs to ask for it in Japanese, so he's picked up those phrases quickly. I'm also surprised at how quickly he's adapted to eating the Japanese lunch provided by the daycare. He loves miso soup! and with his chopsticks (still learning to use them) he couldn't wait to show me how he can eat rice...
However, there are days when C says he hates it here and he wants to go back to the US. I think I underestimated just how difficult an adjustment it would be for him. Everyone says how adaptable kids are, and it's true, but there is no way of knowing exactly how each child will react to the stress of a completely new environment. C has been screaming like he did when he was 2, sometimes he just gets so frustrated and he can't find the words he wants so he just yells. Last night was just one of those nights, we stayed up a bit later (my first mistake) to have a pizza and movie and snuggle-up on the sofa...but as soon as the movie was over he melted down when I told him it was time to brush his teeth. It was completely out of the blue, but ended up with him screaming, him saying I hated him and him sobbing so hard he was gulping air. Poor kiddo....after he calmed down, I rocked him and asked him more about school, and that's when he told me he got a time out for wrestling with another kid. Normally that wouldn't phase him, but with everything else, it just made him completely upset and he didn't know how to express it. He never did brush his teeth (oops), but fell asleep shortly after I rocked him. I don't want to make anyone scared to bring their child overseas, but just wanted to prepare you for the difficulties you and your child may face.
That being said - today was a great day! C told me how excited he was for Undokai (sports day) this saturday, and how much he's been practicing. He said they've been making posters and signs and stuff, and showed me part of the flag dance. Today was a good day and he's excited to go to school tomorrow...just goes to show you, though kids are adaptable, they get stressed and don't know how to handle it. I suspect we'll have good and bad days for awhile longer.
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Finally settled in!
We made it. We finally got everything worked out. It was quite the roller-coaster ride to get here, but despite all of the hurdles we made it. I can't express my gratitude enough for the Facebook groups who helped me through it all. I know we wouldn't be here in Japan without their guidance and support.
Getting moved out, packed up and then flying halfway around the world, setting up a new home and getting over jet-lag have all taken their toll. Not to mention I had to re-adjust to living in Japan and getting my son used to going to Japanese Hoikuen (pre-school/daycare). We still have our good days and our bad days. Somedays we can't wait to get out and explore, somedays we are so tired we just can't wait to get home and eat some cereal and go to bed. It takes a long time to completely settle in, longer so because I have a child to help through the culture shock. We have both been a bit ornery and crabby until now. But I think with the fall weather starting to come around, a nice cool breeze and some time to adjust, we're starting to feel completely settled.
The things I was so worried about: hoikuen, commute and the cat have all worked themselves out.
The hoikuen has turned out to be amazing, C's teacher even speaks a little English, and between her English and my Japanese we manage to communicate just fine. C has made a friend at school, who is also half Japanese. C says he speaks English, but I have yet to hear him or his mother speaking English, I believe they speak Portuguese...but I'm glad C has a friend.
The commute isn't so bad. The school I visit on mondays (40 min bus ride, 20 min walk), turns out that I don't go to that school very often, especially in September, as there are 3 holidays on mondays in Sept. and therefore, no school. Even so, the commute isn't so bad. I drop C off at daycare at 7:30 (right when they open) and I pick him up at 5:45, which is honestly pretty on par with the hours he was at daycare in the US. The other two schools are no problem at all, but I am getting my exercise! I never did buy a car, so I've been biking at least 1 hour each day, two days a week, it's 2 hours - bonus, I've dropped 4 sizes in two months! none of my clothes fit anymore, time to go shopping!
The cat - I've emailed back and forth with the family that is keeping her and she's settled in just fine. The other cat and her are friends now, and we'll be back in 2.5 months to get her. I do miss her, but honestly I don't know how I would have done it if we would have brought her with us at the start. There was plenty to deal with, I'm glad we were able to leave her for a few months and then pick her up after Christmas.
Everything is working out... ;)
We've also started exploring our town a bit more. Every weekend we take a little bike ride to find a new store and area to explore. Usually I have a destination in mind, but sometimes we just ride and see where it gets us. I definitely want to stay longer than a year, things just take more time when you are a family JET. One year just won't be enough for us to explore and do everything we want to do. We bought a tent and a sleeping bag and we've already been camping once, with many more camping trips to plan in the future!
Getting moved out, packed up and then flying halfway around the world, setting up a new home and getting over jet-lag have all taken their toll. Not to mention I had to re-adjust to living in Japan and getting my son used to going to Japanese Hoikuen (pre-school/daycare). We still have our good days and our bad days. Somedays we can't wait to get out and explore, somedays we are so tired we just can't wait to get home and eat some cereal and go to bed. It takes a long time to completely settle in, longer so because I have a child to help through the culture shock. We have both been a bit ornery and crabby until now. But I think with the fall weather starting to come around, a nice cool breeze and some time to adjust, we're starting to feel completely settled.
The things I was so worried about: hoikuen, commute and the cat have all worked themselves out.
The hoikuen has turned out to be amazing, C's teacher even speaks a little English, and between her English and my Japanese we manage to communicate just fine. C has made a friend at school, who is also half Japanese. C says he speaks English, but I have yet to hear him or his mother speaking English, I believe they speak Portuguese...but I'm glad C has a friend.
The commute isn't so bad. The school I visit on mondays (40 min bus ride, 20 min walk), turns out that I don't go to that school very often, especially in September, as there are 3 holidays on mondays in Sept. and therefore, no school. Even so, the commute isn't so bad. I drop C off at daycare at 7:30 (right when they open) and I pick him up at 5:45, which is honestly pretty on par with the hours he was at daycare in the US. The other two schools are no problem at all, but I am getting my exercise! I never did buy a car, so I've been biking at least 1 hour each day, two days a week, it's 2 hours - bonus, I've dropped 4 sizes in two months! none of my clothes fit anymore, time to go shopping!
The cat - I've emailed back and forth with the family that is keeping her and she's settled in just fine. The other cat and her are friends now, and we'll be back in 2.5 months to get her. I do miss her, but honestly I don't know how I would have done it if we would have brought her with us at the start. There was plenty to deal with, I'm glad we were able to leave her for a few months and then pick her up after Christmas.
Everything is working out... ;)
We've also started exploring our town a bit more. Every weekend we take a little bike ride to find a new store and area to explore. Usually I have a destination in mind, but sometimes we just ride and see where it gets us. I definitely want to stay longer than a year, things just take more time when you are a family JET. One year just won't be enough for us to explore and do everything we want to do. We bought a tent and a sleeping bag and we've already been camping once, with many more camping trips to plan in the future!
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Don't Give Up!!!
Sorry for the length of time between posts - it's been quite the whirlwind of a month. Has it really only been a month, it feels like three. Finally heard from my BOE, we will be going to Kurashiki City in Okayama Prefecture. I am so excited. However, we have been running hurtles trying to sort out details. There are several JET couples in Okayama, however I am the first JET with a child the prefecture has welcomed, so it's been a learning experience for everyone. The following is only meant to communicate the difficulties I faced and the amount of stress one can possibly expect (of course ESID) to face. Please understand that the BOE, the JET program of Okayama, and the community have bent over backwards to help me solve all of these difficulties. The circumstances were difficult, but all of us worked together to solve them, and for that I am most truly thankful to everyone!
Finding a long term boarding facility for the cat:
I have called about 30 different vets and boarding facilities and either they won't board a cat for that long or I got quotes from $500-1000 per month. I can't afford that - and they all want the entire 5 months payments upfront. I literally sat in my car during lunch for 3 days sobbing on the phone with places asking if they knew anyone, anyone at all who would consider taking a cat in for 5 months. None of my family or friends are able to take her, many wished they could, but cannot for various reasons. I have 5 weeks to find somewhere, otherwise we may not be able to go to Japan.
Hoikuen:
I first got an email from the prefecture saying that they are looking forward to welcoming me and my son to Okayama prefecture, however daycare in Japan is in high demand and they are unable to find a spot for my son. period. They are all full. I translate this as: We cannot go to Japan.
So I took to Facebook and posted a plea to have anyone help me that was already in Okayama. Can I just say that the ex-pat community in Okayama is awesome! I had no less than 4 people helping me find daycare, answering questions, calling the childcare division at city hall and calming me down as I'm panicking because I'm thinking we aren't able to go after all that hard work. A good friend found my son a spot in a daycare and the BOE got him enrolled! One hurtle down. We're going to Japan in 4 weeks!
Travel:
I then find out that the daycare is 30 minutes away by bike. Unfortunately my schools are 15 minutes from the apartment in the complete opposite direction. Making my commute time an hour and 15 minutes by bike to my two main schools. I'm either going to be really fit and strong or need to buy a car (which I was hoping to avoid). Plus one of my visiting schools is a 40 minute bus ride plus a 20 minute uphill walk. So every Monday I would have to drop C off at daycare at 6 am. The daycare doesn't open until 6:30. I translate this as: We cannot go to Japan.
My BOE understood this dilemma and has adjusted my start time at that school so I can drop C off at a more reasonable hour. Perhaps not ideal, but I can work with it. We're going to Japan!
Cat:
I tried to ask in the politest way if it would be possible to bring the cat. I knew from talking with my predecessor that a previous tenant had a dog, so I thought it was reasonable to assume pets were okay. I got an email back saying pets are not allowed. I translate this as: We cannot go to Japan.
So I google Okayama pet apartments, and using google translate manage to find 2 apartments that allow pets, one very near where the current apartment is, and one nearer to the daycare. So I email the links to the BOE to see if I am allowed to move apartments. I then get a email back saying that pets are actually okay in the current apartment, so no need to move. (with a nice apology). We are going to Japan! I just need to find somewhere for the cat to stay for 5 months until we can return at christmas to get her.
Lucky Break!
I didn't just find one place for the cat, I found 2! A very nice family has offered to keep her for 5 months, and I found a pet sitter that was willing to board her for a very reasonable fee. I haven't completely decided who she will stay with, but we have had a home visit with both, and Elouise gets along very well with the other animals at both homes. Two more weeks and we're going to Japan!
So, yes, it has been very stressful. I think I lost about 5 lbs in a week because I couldn't eat or sleep. However, I didn't give up - and it has paid off! I even went on an interview for a new job here in Dallas thinking that we weren't going. But here we are! My utmost gratitude to the people who have helped me overcome all of these hurtles and answered question and helped to calm me down. I don't know that I could have done all of it without their help. I can't wait to meet these people and thank them in person.
Finding a long term boarding facility for the cat:
I have called about 30 different vets and boarding facilities and either they won't board a cat for that long or I got quotes from $500-1000 per month. I can't afford that - and they all want the entire 5 months payments upfront. I literally sat in my car during lunch for 3 days sobbing on the phone with places asking if they knew anyone, anyone at all who would consider taking a cat in for 5 months. None of my family or friends are able to take her, many wished they could, but cannot for various reasons. I have 5 weeks to find somewhere, otherwise we may not be able to go to Japan.
Hoikuen:
I first got an email from the prefecture saying that they are looking forward to welcoming me and my son to Okayama prefecture, however daycare in Japan is in high demand and they are unable to find a spot for my son. period. They are all full. I translate this as: We cannot go to Japan.
So I took to Facebook and posted a plea to have anyone help me that was already in Okayama. Can I just say that the ex-pat community in Okayama is awesome! I had no less than 4 people helping me find daycare, answering questions, calling the childcare division at city hall and calming me down as I'm panicking because I'm thinking we aren't able to go after all that hard work. A good friend found my son a spot in a daycare and the BOE got him enrolled! One hurtle down. We're going to Japan in 4 weeks!
Travel:
I then find out that the daycare is 30 minutes away by bike. Unfortunately my schools are 15 minutes from the apartment in the complete opposite direction. Making my commute time an hour and 15 minutes by bike to my two main schools. I'm either going to be really fit and strong or need to buy a car (which I was hoping to avoid). Plus one of my visiting schools is a 40 minute bus ride plus a 20 minute uphill walk. So every Monday I would have to drop C off at daycare at 6 am. The daycare doesn't open until 6:30. I translate this as: We cannot go to Japan.
My BOE understood this dilemma and has adjusted my start time at that school so I can drop C off at a more reasonable hour. Perhaps not ideal, but I can work with it. We're going to Japan!
Cat:
I tried to ask in the politest way if it would be possible to bring the cat. I knew from talking with my predecessor that a previous tenant had a dog, so I thought it was reasonable to assume pets were okay. I got an email back saying pets are not allowed. I translate this as: We cannot go to Japan.
So I google Okayama pet apartments, and using google translate manage to find 2 apartments that allow pets, one very near where the current apartment is, and one nearer to the daycare. So I email the links to the BOE to see if I am allowed to move apartments. I then get a email back saying that pets are actually okay in the current apartment, so no need to move. (with a nice apology). We are going to Japan! I just need to find somewhere for the cat to stay for 5 months until we can return at christmas to get her.
Lucky Break!
I didn't just find one place for the cat, I found 2! A very nice family has offered to keep her for 5 months, and I found a pet sitter that was willing to board her for a very reasonable fee. I haven't completely decided who she will stay with, but we have had a home visit with both, and Elouise gets along very well with the other animals at both homes. Two more weeks and we're going to Japan!
So, yes, it has been very stressful. I think I lost about 5 lbs in a week because I couldn't eat or sleep. However, I didn't give up - and it has paid off! I even went on an interview for a new job here in Dallas thinking that we weren't going. But here we are! My utmost gratitude to the people who have helped me overcome all of these hurtles and answered question and helped to calm me down. I don't know that I could have done all of it without their help. I can't wait to meet these people and thank them in person.
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